No pizza has arrived

And i am so hungry

I rang up at 6:25

For a delivery

Even though i could

Have gone out

I can’t be arsed tonoight

It reminds me that i’m so fat

I’m so fat.

Hello is that dominose I want a large magaritta

I want cheese and chicken and ham on the pizza

I phoned you up 10 minutes ago maybe you forgotten

maybee it was when you got referbished or something

sometimes you can’t find things where you left them

Anyways, fuck it you’ve got it now, there’s my order

can I have 2, I want one for my brother

My wife just gave birth to a daughter guess what I called her, magaretta

I heard about the fire too, I’m sorry

My brother had a company that got burnt down on him

if you haven’t run out can I have extra ham

i need it for my dog, his names sam

I like the way you make your pizzas man

I like the boxes to they’re great for making hats

Anyways I hope my pizza arives soon I need it to stay fat

truly yours your best customer this is Stan

No pizza has arrived

And i am so hungry

I rang up at 6:25

For a delivery

Even though i could

Have gone out

I can’t be ased tonight

It reminds me that i’m so fat

I’m so fat.

Hello is that dominoes, i’m still waiting for my Pizza it better be here soon

I ain’t mad i just think that you should treat your customers better

If you don’t want to take my order you don’t have to

But you could at least let me know, other companies do

That includes pizza hut when they stoped i got told

I had been going there since i was 16 years old, with long hours

And you just ignore me, That’s crap i’m always loyal to you

I want to be your customer i love your company to

I ain’t mad i just don’t like waiting when i got things to do

Remember last time you delivered you said i was your special customer

I just want you to heat my piazza and deliver

I always enjoy it when i give you my order

I can see that if you’re busy it takes long

But you’re never this busy, unless i’m wrong

you should treat me good cause me and you are the best

I tell all my friends that you’re better then the rest

Sometimes i time myself to see how long it takes to eat

It’s the highlight of the day, i go slower with extra toppings

See all the stuff you sell is great and i love you ’cause it’s cheap

I told my girlfriend the whole menu and she was jealous

But she don’t understand my love for pizza, only you do

She don’t know why i count down the minutes from when i ring you

You better deliver it soon, i’l be the best customer you ever lost

Sencierly yours stan, P.S how much does pizza hut next to you cost

No pizza has arrived

And i am so hungry

I rang up at 6:25

For a delivery

Even though i could

Have gone out

I can’t be ased tonight

It reminds me that i’m so fat

I’m so fat.

Dear Mr Pizza company that’s so good they don’t care about their customers

This will be the last time I ever ring you up

It’s been 2 hours now and still no pizza for tea

I know you got my orders you said you would send extra ham free

So This Is the message I’m leaving you

I hope you don’t record over it I’m in Pizza hut now with a bomb

Hey dominoes i ate almost all the pizzas dare me to carry on

you know that song by Eminem and dido, stan

About that crazy emienem fan who wrote the letter

But eminem didn’t write back and stan killed himself in the river

That’s like this is you could have saved me if you had responded to my order

But now it’s too late I’ve got a petrol bomb And I’ve eaten loads

All I wanted was my and my brothers mageritta

I hope you know you’ve made me hate your pizza

I love you dominoes I could ‘ve still been your customer

But you lost me know

I hope you can’t survive and you go down the pan

And when you go bust you loose your job and you get a ban

I hope your company totally fails

See dominoes, shut it cow I’m on the phone

Hey dominoes that’s my girlfriend screaming in the oven

But I didn’t over-heat her I just heated her up

See I don’t do it how you do

Caus’e if I only warm her and leave her in there she’ll die to

We’ll gotta go i’m just about to set the bomb off now

Oh shit I forgot I ain’t suppose to record this

No pizza has arrived

And I am so hungry

I rang up at 6:25

for a delivery

Even though I could

Have gone out

I can’t be arsed tonight

It reminds me that I’m so fat

I’m so fat

Dear Stan, we’re getting your pizza ready now we’ve been very busy

I put in extra ham for your dog sam, it’s free

Were really proud that you would call your kid that

We’ll sent you an origamy book so you can make more hats

I’m sorry You still ain’t got your pizza We will get it to you

Don’t think we are ignoring you we have other customers to

But what is this stuff you tell us how you eat the pizza is up to you

We just heat them and deliver them as quick as possible to you

I think you need to stop getting in a mood

Other wise you’ll die from anger and not eating the right food

But what you on about moving in to Pizza hut so your closer

I really think you and your girl friend need to talk together

Or maybe you should just be less of a fool

I hope you get to here this call

I hope You hear it tonight

Before you get hurt

I think you do all right

If you eat different foods

I’m glad you like our pizza but don’t be mad

Just try and understand

that we do want you as a customer

I just don’t want you do something stupid

I read about some stuff that made me feel like a helpless flid

Some dude ate loads of Pizza and was in Pizza hut

And had a petrol bomb and blew the whoe place up

On the phone they found a message but they didn’t know who it was to

Come to think about the message was from Stan that’s you

dam